Killi Bhies

KILLI BHIES - BEHIND THE TRACK: BEHIND 'I KILLED MY THERAPIST'

A close look at the experience that inspired "I KILLED MY THERAPIST"...

My whole life l've been trying to find a I psychologist who can truly help me. At one point, I gave up because it really seems like so many don't work out of vocation; they're not genuinely interested in your problems. The only thing that helped me at that time was pills, and sometimes even that didn't help. I found a new psychologist, and after a few sessions, I realized it was more of the same: bad, empty advice, short sessions that didn't allow time to go deep into any issue--just more of the same. Spending so many years trying to get help and not finding it triggers violent impulses in me, like many other things. It's not that I'm thinking about hurting anyone; I just feel like I want to.

It's infuriating to be spoken to with such indifference and explicitly telling them that I want to kill myself and they would still give me some shitty advice like: "let's try to distract ourselves with some activity, "have you tried hobby, as if I hadn't already tried all of that in all my years of depression, but they don't even ask, because in 10 different appointments they only get into superficial topics. And you end up still wanting to kill yourself, and now wanting to kill your therapist.

-KILLI BHIES

'I KILLED MY THERAPIST' - LYRICS

Lipstick stains and tattoos
On my wall framing you
Signs I learned from Voodoo
And red stains on your shoes

Tell me about all the things you know
Tell me I have to get over it, act tough
Sitting here like I don’t have a life
I know what I’m telling you is not enough

You’re acting like you don’t know what’s wrong
You’re talking about some diamond in the rough
I know you know how to read the signs
And you know tomorrow morning you’ll be gone

And I do feel stupid for wanting to do this
But I feel like nothing works
I wish you felt sorry for watching me die and
I’ll make sure you know how it hurts

Lipstick stains and tattoos
On my wall framing you
Signs I learned from Voodoo
And red stains on your shoes

Lipstick stains and tattoos
On my wall framing you
Signs I learned from Voodoo
And red stains on your shoes